I Dreamed
by Shoshie
Summary: A decade after the final battle, all the other Animorphs dead, Rachel still hasn't recovered.


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_I dreamed a dream in days gone by, _

When hope was high, 

And life worth living. 

I dreamed that love would never die. 

I dreamed that G-d would be forgiving.

It was nearly midnight. Rachel lay awake in bed. Seventeen more minutes. Seventeen minutes until the tenth anniversery of the Battle. The final battle that saved all of humanity- for a price- happened a decade ago. It was the reason she was able to sit back and relax each night. But what a price. All the lives of the Animorphs, except for her. Arg! Why did it have to happen that way? Life without the Yeerks was supposed to be easier. Now here she was, smart, beautiful Rachel, nearly jobless, single, and a bitter shell.

Fifteen more minutes.

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_Then I was young and unafraid. _

And dreams were made and used and wasted. 

There was no ransom to be paid. 

No song unsung, no wine untasted.

FLASH! A cross between a girl and a bear became all raging beast. Caught up in the fire of the fight, the grizzly killed the enemy blindly. No fear, just reaction. Attack, counter attack, attack, counter attack. Good fought bad, and that was life. Attack, counter attack, attack, counter attack. 

FLASH! The one final swipe of the claw, where the Visser lay there, never again to harm another creature. A grizzly's roar of triumph could be heard over the many groans of pain and death.

Eleven minutes left.

_But the tigers come at night. _

With their voices soft as thunder. 

As they tear your hope apart. 

As they turn your dream to shame.

Rachel starts to fall asleep, but stops herself knowing what vision will ocompany her to sleep, her punishment for living. The vision of the leader of the Animorphs, her last hope, even after she had seen Tobias' small body crushed under the weight of a dead Hork-Bajir. At that very moment, her heart had ripped in half- as it did night after night.

Eight minutes left.

___He slept a summer by my side. _

He filled my days with endless wonder. 

He took my childhood in his stride. 

But her was gone when autumn came. 

Rachel picked up the photo album that was so carelessly thrown in grief on her bed stand. She leafed through it. Tobias, Cassie, Jake, Ax, Marco, all of whom were gone from her life forever. She hadn't even looked at another guy since. No. She had loved, and she would never love again, she couldn't. 

She remembered the last time that she morphed to a bird of prey. It was about…about… seven years ago. She had tried to protect Tobias' territory for about five months. It had finally gotten too much, and she had been forced to stop. A few years later she flew back there, just for memories, and saw the other red-tail that took Tobias' place.

Four minutes left.

_And still I dreamed he'd come to me_

That we would live our lives togethe

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather.

A tear flows gently down Rachel's cheek. Many times she had woken up in the middle of the night and opened up her window just because she thought Tobias might be coming. That was met with bitter disapointment as she remembered that her love was gone forever. 

Zero hour.

_I dreamed a dream my life would be_

So different from this hell I'm living 

So different now from what it seemed 

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Rachel sat in the corner of her bedroom apartment, shaken up. She had survived the night, barely. It was seven a.m. Her family had all but abandoned her. At first they had supported her and stood by her. But when she had refused their help, they turned away from her as well. 

Rachel picked up the phone. She dialed up Jordan's number. Ring one. Ring two. Ring three. Ring four. Rachel was about to hang up when she heard the click of someone answering. 

"Hello?" It was a little girl's voice. Jordan's daughter, Shay.

"Shay? Can I talk to your mommy? It's Auntie Rachel"

"Okay. Hold on." On the other line, Rachel heard Shay calling for her mom, and Jordan saying "I'm coming. I'm coming."

"Hello?"

"Jordan…?" Rachel got out, and then she broke down and allowed herself to be consoled for the first time in a decade.

*Author's Note- My first songfic! Pweeeeeeease don't kill me! Oh yeah, and I Dreamed a Dream is from the play Le Misarables. __


End file.
